One of the questions oft-asked in best-practices sessions and in general consulting: How do we get a "newbie" on-boarded quickly? Some concern usually arises when the new Enzee approaches the Netezza machine with the same thinking processes as with a traditional RDBMS. While there are "gross" similarities, it is the differences we want to leverage, and these are not either/or questions. There is a better way to implement things in Netezza, and a better way in the traditional RDBMS. Mixing the two is not optimum and can be detrimental.

The primary discussion fulcrum is simple: One is a transactional database and one is not. Moving away from "transactional thinking" is the key. How to accomplish this?

One of the best ways is to discuss and actually demonstrate the primary differences between bulk and transactional processing. As this is largely the crux of misunderstanding, or even the necessary "paradigm shift" our newbie needs to embrace, a significant hurdle it seems, is the newbie's belief that the core engine functionality of their favorite RDBMS is somehow being indicted or set aside as useless. After all, the transactional RDBMS is just that - transactional - and this is what we want the newbie to move away from. What? All that hard-won and industry-hardened capability - and we're just setting it aside? Really?

In a word - Yes.

It's not that the transactional capabilities are useless. They simply aren't useful in a data warehouse. More importantly, they don't even exist in a Netezza machine. So attempting to shoe-horn transactional thinking into this machine is a huge disconnect - no differently than using a lawnmower as a hedge-trimmer. Netezza is purpose-built. Transactions are missing by design.

Now at least one person is bristling because they know, administratively, that transactional support is handy for logging, managing metadata, troubleshooting hooks and other administrative support. I don't disagree with that, but it's not the activity of bulk data processing. It is far easier to set up a smaller database machine alongside the Netezza machine to perform these administrative transactional tasks. Each machine then has an objective role and purpose, and off we go.

What are some of the demonstrable ways that we can introduce the new Enzee to this issue, in a manner that really drives the point home? Well, I can't seem to count how many times I've had (sometimes rather contentious) discussions with "outsiders" (or perhaps "purists" ) on the subject of transactional exception handling. Inserting a record into a transactional database, with its glorious constraints turned on, will guarantee that it will pushback on us with an exception. Said exception requiring the dutiful compliance of an exception handler. You know the drill.

But in data warehousing, such transactional exceptions are in the way of our bulk load. We don't want the database to examine each and every record as it arrives, potentially formulating an exception (and its attendant overhead) for each record, or passing each one through after its constraint-based integrity check. We just finished taking all that data through a detailed sieve of business rules in the ETL layer, didn't we? The database needn't trouble itself, just load the data, thank you.

Now at least one more "outsider" is bristling. How dare you say that we should set aside the constraint-based exception handling? What possible justification could there be for such a gross trampling of RDBMS functionality? Explain yourself!

In a word - performance.

Storytime: Just after 9/11, the airports over-compensated with all kinds of rigorous shakedown protocols. Travelers had to show a boarding pass and ID at a checkpoint, then keep them handy for just after the checkpoint. And then also for presentation at the gate prior to boarding, along with random bag searching. If you were the first one to board, or made eye-contact with the bag-search team, it was guaranteed that you would be taken aside and your luggage rummaged. A friend of mine told me that the rummagers liked to carry on a conversation to make you feel more comfortable about their pulling your private things out into the open air for all to see. One of them held up a nose hair trimmer to one of his cohorts and said What the heck is this? Makes one wonder what other kinds of personal appliances we could "salt" the bag with just to embarrass the daylights out of them, hmmm?

My friend told me that he was pulled aside a lot, and started experimenting with "stated professions" that the rummager would not care to talk about. At one point he blurted "I'm a professional bodyguard" to which the rummager alerted like a trained narcotics dog and said "So you would know how to use weapons?" to which my friend simply said "Or not."  This of course made the rummager gulp and go quiet, but it still wasn't good enough. My friend didn't want them to talk at all, so they wouldn't waste any time in their rummaging and just get-it-over-with. So at one point he said "I own a funeral home." Which of course, stopped the chatter completely. Nobody really knows how to continue a casual conversation about such a subject.

The point being, he'd already had his bags electronically scanned at the checkpoint. Do we really need to check it again? And unlike a constraint-based exception handler, the rummager had the option of only picking out random hapless travelers. The exception handler rummages the bags of every traveler in the line. We can see how utterly inefficient this is. Nowadays, they screen the bags and then don't even check ID again at the gate. Except for random gates on occasion because nefarious people sometimes swap tickets when they get behind the checkpoint. In any case, if we've already exhaustively checked the bags to get the traveler where he is, more checking is a waste of everyone's time. Just like the exception handler. If we just ran the entire set of data through rignorous validation rules, we have no need whatsoever of the transactional exception handling in the database. It will waste processing time.

And wasting time, we don't have the luxury to do.

The transactionally-constrained bulk-load of data will be, on average, five to ten times slower in operation than its non-constrained equivalent. If our objective is to achieve a fast load - and trust me - it really is - we don't want constraints turned on. We're talking about loading millions if not billions of records. Even in an RDBMS, we cannot afford to convert what could be a thirty-minute operation into a two-plus-hour operation. The window of time simply does not exist. In some locations, if this kind of window ever existed, it is rapidly vanishing as their businesses go-global and need to process data as-the-world-turns.

On the flip side, think about the main reason for a transactional exception - it is to keep a transactional application honest. If the data does not comply, the user fixes and re-submits. It's interactive, and it deals with a single entity at a time, not millions of entities at a time.

The "outsider" will now brace on this assertion as well, because they think that having thousands of users interacting with the system constitutes this many-entities-at-a-time, but it simply doesn't. And here's why: RDBMS systems are meant to assimilate data in small chunks with high frequency. They are not designed to deal with large chunks at low frequency (e.g. a batch load once a night). They will accommodate such activities, but not do them well. In this case, "well" means loading a million rows a second. The RDBMS cannot approach this.

And this is the reasoning behind the Rule #10, which is - when loading bulk data, never involve the database in row-level activities. This means, without exception, turn off the exception handling. Because the database will just protract the duration of the flow, checking each and every record and slowing down all of them as a whole, in order to find the few exceptions. It is the equivalent of making the entire flow suffer for the sake of a few records. this is a bad tradeoff. And once again - didn't we just validate and scrub all these exceptions from the flow, in the ETL/data processing environment? Why are we asking the database to validate them again?

And the worst part, is that the potential exceptions are all anticipated and known. What does this mean? As a back-end programmer buildng the data flow, we have direct and objective access to each and every failure point that will stop the data from loading. Why would we delegate this to the database, since it is so inefficient in performing it? Note - not so lacking in functionality, because the RDBMS has lots of functionality to perform it. It is simply too inefficient with bulk loading to be a viable resource.

So what are the anticipated exceptions? Let's go for popularity:

1. Bad or null data
2. Unique key violations
3. Primary/foreign key violations

In fact, the above constitute the primary reasons for the load to fail. So lets walk through the basic process we would need to follow if we delegate this to the RDBMS database.

In transactional mode, the RDBMS data load will kick out an exception for each of these it finds. Even if it completes with no error, someone in the room will say -It took too long. Even if it didn't find any exceptions.Fix it. Make it faster! The hard-core transactional engenue will attempt to optimize it without turning off exceptions, and find that it cannot be done. If the load of one record requires 1 second, it will take 1 million seconds to load 1 million records.

We just don't have 1 million seconds.

(Incidentally, in Netezza, the load of 1 record requires 1 second. The load of 1 million records requires 1 second. Use your second wisely!)

So our new Enzee will grouse a bit and then look around at the data warehousing sites for answers, and all of them will say, turn the RDBMS exceptions off, load the data, and then turn them back on. The newbie will object - but wait - when I try to turn them back on, the database yelps and says there are constraint violations. I will have to back the records out and try again. Oh yes, we now have a mess on our hands. In the time it took to load the RDBMS data - say thirty minutes - we have now accumulated errors that might take hours to back out, fix and then retry. And we'll have to do it while the batch-window clock is ticking, not in a pre-process where we had more breathing room. We don't have this kind of time window.

We will never have this kind of time window.

So the next fallback is to fix the exceptions in the data processing realm (ETL tool), prior to loading the data. But isn't this what the data processing realm is for? Really? This means we do all null checking and constraint checking prior to loading. How? We download the primary and foreign keys into the local data processing environment and perform a localized join-filter to remove the exceptions. This is a data warehousing 101 best practice.

The newbie will now brace on the idea of downloading all the key values. All of them? That could take, well, it could take a long time!  It will take mere minutes to pull down all the key values. And those mere minutes are nothing compared to the duration of the recovery mess we will endure if we don't take this step.

Pay a little time now, or a lot of time later. Use your time wisely.

So here is the tradeoff (again in traditional RDBMS space)

1. Turn off constraints, load the data, and then deal with the mess after the fact. Plan to spend hours backing out the mess and then running the load from scratch.
2. Download keys, join/filter the key exceptions, turn off constraints, load the data with the expectation that no mess will arise. (because it won't)

In short, downloading the keys for constraint checking is a necessary evil. Our only "next best" fallback is to load the data into a pre-target staging table and do the gross comparison there. Then we copy the good records into the target table. But wait - now we've incurred the penalty of the load twice (one for the ETL to staging and one for staging to target). Isn't it cheaper to pull down the keys once than it is to load all the data twice? Not to mention the fact that the average RDBMS engine does not efficiently copy tables either. So even if we decide to go with loading a staging table, the copy of the staging-to-target will take longer than we are willing to wait.

Think about this: When the data exception arises in (1) above, where will we fix the problem? In the database, or in the data processing realm? The database can only report the issue, not fix it. If we must fix it in the data processing zone anyhow, why woudn't we fix it proactively rather than reactively?

So this approach means something even more valuable - if we find the exceptions in the data processing realm prior to loading, we will have found them proactively and administratively, not
reactively and operationally.

This makes a huge difference in the reconciliation of data exceptions when we're dealing with millione or billions of entities.

And yet another issue our newbie is pleasantly unaware of - data processing on this scale has to be beholden to the constraints of the lights-out operation, administration, and logistical capabilities of the physical plant around the machine. If the operators have to get involved in the data recovery, with data processing on this scale, it needs to be for incidental reasons, not mass data recovery.
In essence, delegating this activity to the RDBMS, is setting up our operators to fail. We will find them entirely intolerant of this approach. Fix it, they will say. If our answer to them is - hey, me architect, you operator, so gird up thy loins and get thee to work - we have punted (and dangerously so) something we should take complete responsibility for. Because make no mistake, we will be held completely acccountable for it as well. They will call us in the middle of the night. They will only help us incidentally. It's your mess, you clean it up!

The primary issue here is that the traditional RDBMS load has to be not only load ready, but consumption-ready. When we load the data, we have to be completely and thoroughly finished with all data processing before it hits the target table. From there, the user should be able to consume it right away. Load-ready and consumption-ready is the name of the game, and it's accomplished for the RDBMS in the ETL environment, because it cannot be efficiently accomplished inside the RDBMS. The RDBMS is simply too slow and inefficient for any form of bulk operation. And again I say, if the only place to actually fix the data is the data processing realm, it only makes sense to do it proactively, not reactively.

Now let's flip over to the Netezza side of things.

In the Netezza machine, we can stage the data "dirty" if we want to, and we often do. The data can essentially be copied as-is from its external dirty location directly into the machine with an nzload to a staging database. From there, we have it in massively parallel form and can use a series of CTAS operations (ELT-style) to cleanse and shape the data. Once we're ready, when can then do a massively parallel join from the incoming table to the target, validating primary and foreign key values in bulk. Then we just copy the good data and we're done. When using Netezza, it is always faster to let the machine do the data cleanup and integration in a massively parallel, set-based operation (even a series of them) than it is to pull the data out, process it in an ETL tool, and put it back. ETL tools, on average, cannot compete with the massively parallel power of Netezza's engine.

Let's look at what we accomplished with little effort: (1) We cleansed the data of dirt. (2) In a single, massively parallel join we validated unique constraints.(3) In a single, massively parallel join we validated foreign keys (one join per key). The total time to accomplish the second two tasks is fractional, often a matter of minutes even on billion-row tables and billion-row loads. The time for the first task is shrunken too, since we can apply our row-level data scrubbing rules in-bulk with sweeping operations rather than row-level operations.

Case Study Short: Working with a SQL-server based model, the client was loading 15 million records into the database with the bulk loader and the largest machines available. Total time to load - over 2 hours. Tried it again on an Oracle platform, with a top-line 16-core machine with plenty of high-end disk space. This operation took 30 minutes. This was attempted on a Netezza platform, same data, same volume, and it took 15 seconds. There is a contrast, but not a comparison. Nothing adequately compares to a 15-second data load.

The important takeaway is this: If I can load the data in 15 seconds, I have a luxury of time to perform internal ELT, data scrubbing and integration, key checking and the like in a matter of minutes, still ensconcing the data into the final target table before the other two databases even get started. More importantly, I did it without standing up a formal external ETL tool. All of it happened "under the air" of the Netezza machine.

Now an interesting exercise for the new Enzee would be to actually walk through the processes noted above. In a problem-solving series of exercises, they should get some data that has embedded constraint violations, then attempt to load the data to an RDBMS with transactional constraints turned on, then turn on the creative juices to see how it can be done more efficiently. I would not suggest loading millions of rows to an RDBMS for this exercise, since they are so inefficient at this. Try it with a smaller row-count and then extrapolate the necessary time-to-load. What they will discover is that they will find themselves slowly backing out their precious transactional exception handling to fix the problem another way. The faster they get, the more the the chosen path will start looking very lean on RDBMS capabilities.

The final form of their solution, they will find, is supported de-facto and in massively parallel inside the Netezza appliance at no additional charge.In the end, they will see why Enzees have run, not walked to a Netezza platform for just this kind of capability. We know they have made the transition when we can hear them having a conversation with another newbie about transactional versus bulk processing, and they are coaching the newbie away from the transactional model.  Ahh, a beautiful thing, indeed.

This is why Netezza is in no way, no how a transactional machine, and why it doesn't enforce primary and foreign key constraints. These can be installed as metadata, but the expectation is that they will be used by an external, intelligent operation that will leverage them for administrative key validation - in bulk. After all, I can read the key metadata from the Netezza catalog, formulate a series of validation operations that will work for any table, any key, any time. Install it as a stored proc and invoke it when necessary. This allows me to set up the load operations and prepare the final copy to the target (which is often the accumulation of dozens of operations to integrate the data into a common pre-target table). Then validate the data just before it is finally copied to the target. This keeps me from having to do it a record-at-a-time, or to have an exception processor accidentally execute the operation before I am completely finished formulating the data for the load.

Row-level exception handling is a beautiful thing - transactionally. If the domain where the exception must be fixed is already the data processing zone, we need to proactively embrace this responsibility and just do it. In the end, row-level exception handling has to be completely removed from our thinking processes. We need to invoke sweeping operations that capture the exceptions in-bulk, not a row-at-a-time. Fix and integrate them in bulk, not a row-at-a-time. Bulk is the name of the game, and always has been.

As the sunrise peeked over the horizon, it cast long shadows over the four cars awaiting the break of dawn. Stretching before them, the expanse of the salt flat beckoned, nay taunted them, to accelerate across its ancient surface. Not caring for the winner or loser, it merely provided a level playing field for them to test their wares and technology. But yawned at the futility of the race itself. The salt flat had always been, and always would be. Come one, come all, it invited daily, almost mockingly.

The leader for team-Exa sat in his racer's driver seat, eyes closed. When he felt the warmth of the morning touch his face, he raised an eyelid to examine the time. Now thirty minutes from flag-down, the sun would still be at his back when he won the race. And he would win the race.

The lead for team-Terra pushed back into her driver's chair to stretch her legs as her eyes fluttered open. She glanced toward her left to the Exa racer, gleaming in the morning sun, and then to her right at the NZ racer, its plain black lines and nondescript exterior, she knew, hid the power under its frame, and was nothing to be trifled with.

The fourth car on the end, entered in the eleventh hour was a plain vanilla Volkswagen Beetle with a rocket engine attached to its backside. No frills, no nonsense and nothing hidden. Five men from Redmond had delivered it last evening. They hadn't even had time to take a test run on the flat.

Minutes later all four drivers and their lackeys met in front of the four cars, partly to wish each other luck and partly to offer last minute trash-talk. Dominic Toretto, the driver of the NZ machine, ran his hands over his bald scalp and rubbed it vigorously, as if massaging the sleep from his head, then yawned and said, "Okay gentlemen. We're fifteen minutes from flag-down. Anyone want to back out? I swear we won't hold it against you."

"Dude," laughed Excel, the driver for the Redmond machine, "In your dreams. I have investors watching."

"As do I," smiled Tara, the only female driver, and would command the blue-streamlined Terra racer, named for its ability to master the earth and its elements. "We're all in this for keeps." She batted her eyes and tilted her head flirtatiously, "You want to see under my hood?"

"Out here in the open?" Toretto laughed, drawing chuckles from the others, "Sure, let's see what you have."

She ignored the innuendo and pointed her keytag toward the Terra racer and pressed a button, causing both side doors to slide away and the hood to pop open. Toretto strolled over to examine the engine. He'd seen these before.

"Lot of power under that hood," he quipped.

"Yeah," she said, expecting a bit more enthusiasm for her machine. She wouldn't find it among any of these drivers, though. They lived and breathed adrenalin, and knew as much about her machine as she did. And weren't in denial about its weaknesses, either.

"Looks plain," said Jeff, driver for the Exa-car, "And as you can see, not enough control."

"So let's look at yours," Toretto said, a twinkle in his eye.

As they sauntered to the next car, Jeff's lackey whispered in Toretto's ear, "We've radar-mapped the entire flat between here and the finish line. Every bump is programmed into the machine. You think that's a competitive advantage?" He slapped Toretto on the back and laughed loudly.

"Bumps don't matter," Toretto muttered, with the strength and experience of someone who would know.

Jeff spun to face him, "What was that?" he laughed, "Bumps don't matter. Did you hear that?" he looked around him to the others, with his lackey already laughing, "He says bumps don't matter." He crossed his arms, "Would it matter to you if I said that ignoring bumps at these speeds is like a death wish?"

"No."

"No, what? No it won't matter what I say, or bumps still don't matter?"

"Either way," Toretto said with a wry grin, "Bumps don't matter."

Jeff threw up his hands in frustration as Toretto poked his head into the Exa-racer's driver side window. Jeff asked, "What do you think, huh?"

Toretto examined the interior, laid out like a Boeing 757 cockpit. Three LCD screens loaded with controls and meters, flashing lights all around the dashboard and dozens of knobs and gears. "Got a lot of moving parts," Toretto sighed, "Think you'll need all that?"

"No more, no less," Jeff said, "Our investors are very demanding. All the tires and wheels are measured for pressure and impact, the dual-redundant monitors compensate for any detected differences, and the pre-mapped radar anticipates every bump and turn."

"It's a salt flat," Toretto grinned, patting him on the side of his shoulder, "There are no turns. And bumps don't matter."

Jeff nearly bit his tongue, but instead smiled and shook his head while Toretto continued his examination.

"Looks to me like," Toretto finally said, "You decked out the car just for this ride."

"Yeah. So?"

"Well, it might work for a salt flat under controlled conditions, but it's not streetworthy."

"We're not testing on a street," Jeff fired back, "All that matters is who makes it to the other side."

"Really?" Toretto raised an eyebrow, "You think people will be knocking on your door to buy a few of these to come out here to run on salt flats?" He laughed, "Your investors will expect to see the performance you show here," he pointed toward the West, "Out there. Or they can't make any money. Optimizing your car, just for this test, doesn't mean anything."

"We'll see," Jeff snapped.

"I'd like an assessment of my car, if you don't mind," said Less, the driver for the Redmond car.

Toretto simply said, "Not much different from the Exa. Except you don't make any bones about the fact that you've strapped a jet engine to an underpowered car. You think those wheels and frame can handle the stress of the race? We'll see how you do on the flats. That's all I can say."

"Gentlemen," intoned a voice all around them, coming from well-placed speakers, "We're five minutes from flags-down so anything you need for warm-up, do it now."

Jeff punched a button on his keytag to remotely initiate his computers into a final pre-race system check. Toretto slowly strolled back to his car, opened the door and flopped into the driver's seat. His lackey Mark, younger than he but the sharpest of his crew, brushed back a long black lock of hair and positioned it over his ear, then silently joined Toretto in the passenger seat. After Toretto punched several buttons to initiate the engine, Mark  could no longer hold it in.

"Don't you think we're about to get smoked here?" Mark said, glancing to the Exa car, "I mean, radar mapping, all those controls and - I mean - "

"I know what you mean," Toretto said casually, engaging the first gear, "Just trust the machine."

"I know what your philosophy is," Mark sighed, shaking his head, "Put it all under the hood, make it self contained, but what if you need to get creative in the middle of the race?"

"Would one of our customers have the option to get creative?" Toretto asked, allowing the car to roll ahead to the starting line. "Do we let them add stuff to the machine? Do we require them to know a lot about what's under the hood?"

"No, but -"

"But what?"

"I don't know what! It just seems like they have more, you know, more -"

"More what?"

"I don't know what! It just seems like more."

"More to break. More to maintain and watch - when the real mission is to go fast on the flats. And everywhere else."

"You think we'll win?"

"Trust the machine."

Presently a racing judge appeared with a flag in each hand, and took his place between the two middle cars. Watching the clock count down, he raised the flags high, then started counting down loudly.

"Hold on to your chair," Toretto mumbled, "It's a little rough out of the gate."

"I'm ready," Mark said, holding tightly to the chair, pushing against the floorboard to press his back into the chair's leather. He'd made the mistake of eating a meal just prior to the first test runs the week before, and had spent an hour cleaning his half-digested meal from the dashboard and interior windshield. This time, he'd fasted for twenty four hours. Nothing remained in his stomach, he was sure of it.

Over in the Exa-racer, Jeff had strapped himself into his seat, and his onboard systems had just finished its run-through only seconds before the flags would fall. The carefully tuned machine would master the flats today. The machine, and his name, would soon be synonymous with extreme speed and power. He would win this race. He was sure of it.

Each driver sat in breathless anticipation as the judge counted down to zero, and watched almost in slow motion as the flags went down. But that's when anything "slow motion" utterly ended. Each of the machines engaged their own forms of acceleration. The Redmond machine driver simply turned a valve and flooded the rocket engine with fuel. It's ignition was like an explosion of TNT and it blasted from the line like, well, like a rocket.

"They're getting ahead of us," Mark complained as the NZ car's acceleration pulled him deeper into the leather.

"It's just a side effect of packaging," Toretto said, his pulse rate not having changed one beat faster, "Just be patient."

Without warning, the Redmond machine sputtered and fishtailed its wheels as they passed it, Mark spun his head as the Redmond machine flew past them and they left it in a wall of salty dust. He then looked back at the Exa racer, and to Jeff's eyes riveted forward, set like flint againt the Western sky.

"How did you -" Mark began.

"Know it would run out of power?" Toretto lifted one side of his mouth, "Get real."

"We're still ahead of the others," Mark noted pensively, glancing around toward Tara, who seemed oblivious to everything around her.

"It will stay that way," Toretto said simply.

"So that's it," said Mark, "We stay in these race positions until the end?"

"No, they will think the race is over soon, and make their move."

Suddenly Tara's car started gaining ground, like something pushing it from behind. Mark saw her pulling up behind them fast, and faster still, "She's coming. She's coming really fast."

"Naah, she's just changed her fuel mix. Thinks going from 55/50 to 25/50 will actually matter."

Mark spun toward the Exa racer, now closing the distance, "He's coming too, Are we slowing down, or are they -"

"Making their move," Toretto said quietly.

"Aren't you going to do something? They're gaining!"

"Let them burn out," Toretto chided as the two competitor machines passed them and gained their respective leads, "And besides, the race is won in the architecture, not the gadgets."

"What difference does it make if we're behind?"

Toretto watched as the odometer slowly ticked over, And over again. "We're almost there, are you strapped in?"

"Yes, I'm strapped in, but almost where? Where is there?"

"There," Toretto pointed to a tinted stain in the salt flat, and watched the odometer tick over to the prescribed reading. "Here we go. Hold on."

"What are you doing?"

Toretto ignored him and pressed a switch on the dashboard. They could hear a whining mechanical noise coming from the rear as two gleaming foils slowly rose from the tail of their accelerating vehicle.

"What are those?"

"What did the Exa driver say?" Toretto reminded, "That at these speeds, bumps count. Actually, at these speeds,what counts is stabilization."

"How will those make us more stable? It looks like they're slowing us down!"

"Brace yourself," Toretto said, and punched the second button. "Accelerators engaged."

In that instant, the air inside the car seemed to grow thin, and the air around them seemed to radically change, buffeting the racer with increasing intensity. Then Mark felt it, a pulling, g-force of acceleration as it pressed him deep into the leather of his chair, and caused the blood to run from his face and into the back of his head. With a whoosh-whoosh, they passed the other two cars as though they were standing still.

Jeff watched helplessly as the NZ racer flew past them. Upon glancing down and across the controls, all of their gauges were standing at the max, pinned almost into the red line. Even if he could make it go faster, they would incur irreversible structural stress, and possibly crack apart on the flats, spinning into a million pieces. Jeff furiously spun dials and adjusted controls, attempting to squeeze just a bit more power from the machine. If he couldn't come in first, second place would have to do. Jeff now cursed his own racer as it entered the NZ racer's dust trail. His investors would be livid.

Tara furiously slammed her palm into the steering wheel, repeatedly cursing as the NZ car disappeared into the distance. Switching her fuel mixture from 55/50 to 25/50 had made her car lighter and more agile, but had not offered the additional speed. At least, not that kind of speed.

Then something rushed toward both their cars as the NZ racer crossed the sound barrier, a shockwave ripped up the surface of the salt flat and met them head-on. The Terra car was more stable, so the wave simply bounced its wheels. The Exa car was not so lucky. When the shockwave hit, the passengers heard the sonic boom before they felt it lift the racer's front end and flip it backwards, spinning it in a barrel-roll as it tried to find its footing again. Its back wheels landed first, then the front, causing the back wheels to lift off again, then the front, rocking violently back and forth like this at least five times before the right front tire blew out, sending the vehicle into a wild spin.

Jeff could hear and feel the car's structure releasing and popping from the stress. At this speed and rate of rotation, the Exa-racer's uncontrolled spin would rapidly develop enough centrifugal force to turn human brains to scrambled eggs. Jeff felt the red-out coming as an automatic release triggered and both their ejection seats activated, separately catapulting them hundreds of feet into the air. Their parachutes deployed when they reached apex, and Jeff witnessed his car disintegrate on the salt flat.

Jeff lifted his gaze into the West, watching the NZ car disappear like a speck in the wake of its own shockwave, churning up the ground behind it. It would likely reach the finish line before his parachute even touched him to the ground.

Toretto casually glanced to his rear-view mirror, watchind the salt flat behind him, practically corrugating the ground in his wake. "Hmmm," he finally said, "Maybe bumps do count. Just not for us. And I don't mind giving them a bumpy ride." He settled into his seat, "No sir." And with that, fully understood the frustrated rage building in the minds of his competitors, and soon their investors.

And more fully understanding the difference between being fast, and being furious.

"Blade?" Hannibal King touched the sleeping warrior gently on the shoulder, "Wake up, dude."

Blade raised one eyebrow, then slowly opened his left eye. Unafraid of the day or night, the warrior moved his hand ever so slightly to verify the presence of his sword. King could see the taughtness of Blade's shoulder sinews as he slowly shifted his weight on the pallet.

"This has better be good," Blade rasped, "I was in the middle of a dream. Kickin' bloodsucker tail," he wiped his hand over his face as though it would wipe away the sleep from his eyes, or the fatigue in his body, but it did neither.

"We have some news," King said with a low voice, "The upgrades have arrived."

Blade's other eye slowly opened, "Oh?"

"Yeah," King laughed, "You're gonna like it."

"I'll be there in five," Blade said, half of him wanting to roll over and sleep, and half of him curious about the upgrades. Blade always had a half-and-half approach to life. The bloodsuckers hated him for it.

A number of minutes later, the warrior strolled slowly into the main atrium of his personal lair, only to find it strewn with boxes, styrofoam and bubble wrap, "What's all this mess?" he rasped.

King appeared from behind one of the largest boxes, a vertical package over eight feet tall, holding a swatch of bubble wrap, "Don't you just love this stuff?" he quipped, violently popping several dozen bubbles with vigorous manipulation.

"Stop that!" Blade commanded, ever-despising King's cheeky nature, "Tell me what all this is."

"All this," King pointed to a far wall where the apparatus had been installed, "is just for you. At your service."

"Blade servers, eh?" Blade took two short steps toward the machines, "What does it do?"

"Only slices, dices and makes Julie-Anne cry!" King cackled.

Blade was not amused.

"Okay, seriously," King began, "Recall some of our - er clients - had some run-ins with the bloodsuckers? Their problems were really that they were working with too little information. Or that it was inaccurate, or not arriving in time. The BI bloodsuckers swoop in to save the day."

"I hate bloodsuckers," Blade seethed.

"Oookay, so they fell prey to the wiles of the bloodsuckers, promising a better mousetrap and all that."

"They always promise."

"Moving right along, they promise but don't deliver. Here's where we come in, and help them get on the right track."

"How do these machines do that?"

"The Blade servers include a special sauce - "

"Special sauce. Is it red?"

"Uhh, no. But it's all painted in your favorite color. The better part is that you can use this machinery during the day to find opportunities, and still let it work at night, you know, when you're - uh - out."

"Hunting bloodsuckers."

"Uhh, yeah, so let's focus here. The new server has a special acclerator that basically lights up the night."

"Is it ultra-violet light?"

"No, but it's ultra-clear light. The kind of light we need to shine on business priorities, SLAs and how to leverage the machine at the enterprise level. You know, best practices."

"I don't need any practice. When the sun goes down - "

"Okay, look," King interrupted, "The accelerator sits on the blade and does all the analytic streaming work. The server then allows for cache RAM to sit between the disk drives and the processor, so we can keep stuff in memory longer."

"I have a long memory for bloodsuckers."

"And some clients," King rolled his eyes, "May need long memory for lookup tables, oft-used dimensions and the like."

"Are you starting all that other-dimension talk again? I thought I'd made a deal with Stan that we would never introduce - "

"No, not alternative dimensions in spacetime," King smirked, "But multidimensional analysis."

"I don't follow."

"Data analysis."

"To what purpose? What are we looking for?"

King thought about the question for a moment, realizing that the answer could capture Blade's attention or lose him forever. He finally said "Bloodsuckers."

Blade's eyes flashed, "If this will help us find the bloodsuckers, why do we only have one? Why not more?"

"Now, now, we should start small and grow tall - "

"Platitudes," Blade huffed, "Time is short. Will it find the bloodsuckers or not?"

King knew that when he said bloodsuckers, he'd meant the broken processes and data that drain the lifeblood from a company, "Yes, it can help us find them."

"Good," Blade finally said, slowly strolling toward the machines. He stared at them for a long moment and finally said. "You work for me, now."

"Uhh, Blade," King said, "They can't hear you, they're machines."

Blade didn't say anything.

"Oh, and I have this," King produced a small metal plate and held it out to Blade.

The warrior turned and stared at the object, curious as to its nature. "And this?"

"Is a Final Interrogation Node," King said, "For use when you are about to dispatch a bloodsucker."

"How does it work?"

"You wrap the wrist-strap here," he applied the strap to his own wrist, holding the plate in his hand, then flicked his wrist. The plate flew to nearest stone column, remaining connected to King's wrist with a tether made of high-tensile filament. The plate sank into the stone with a dull rrrriiiiinggg. . King then flicked his wrist again and the plate dismounted, the tension in the tether returning it immediately to his open palm.

"That was fun, but what does it do, really?"

"When you're done asking questions that anyone can get answers for, the FIN takes it to the next level. And if you have one in each hand - "

"Twin Fins, very funny."

"You'll still get the answers you're looking for."

"I'll always get the answer I want eventually."

"Uhh, well, isn't that what the bloodsuckers say? Anyone can give the right answer slow. But these," he held up the FINs," Get the right answers faster than anything."

"Even faster than me?"

"Faster than Blade alone," King smiled, "Yep, even faster than a blade and all its servers. You still need the FIN's and special sauce. Bloodsuckers don't have those."

"Competitive advantage," Blade said in a low whisper, "I like it."